Mammals · plate 11 of 60
Hippopotamus
Hippopotamus amphibius
Mostly submerged, entirely in charge of the river.
Only 0.3% of people are Hippopotamuses. (estimated)
If you're a Hippopotamus
You are loud, large, sociable, and not to be crossed. Hippos spend the day in groups in the water and come out at night to graze alone; you also save your energy, keep your people close, and do your real work after dark. You look relaxed. Everything in the river knows better.
Hippos cannot swim; they are too dense to float and move by walking or bounding along the riverbed.
The Hippopotamus as a spirit animal
You are confident in a way that doesn't need stating and sociable in a way that doesn't need to be constant. You hold your ground, you hold your group, and you hold a grudge with great physical stability. The flaw is that you are far more dangerous than anyone expects, including you, and you find out late. You mean no harm. You are also, roughly, two tonnes.
Grounded in how the species actually lives; nothing borrowed from anyone's tradition. Why we put it that way.
How to get along with a Hippopotamus
Do
- Stay out of the water they consider theirs; the river is the home and the rules are the hippo's.
- Let them be idle by day; the hard work happens at night, on land, alone.
- Give them the group; hippos rest in pods and are calmer for it.
Don't
- Don't block the path between a hippo and the water; it is the one route it will take at speed.
- Don't read the yawn as boredom; read it as a warning and act on it.
When it goes wrong: A provoked hippo charges, in or out of the water, faster than anyone expects; get out of its line to the river and stay out.
The Hippopotamus in a relationship
You are physical, loyal to the pod, and not much for ceremony. Hippos mate in the water, and the mother takes her calf away from the group for a while before bringing it back to be raised among the others. You love in company, with a clear sense of whose riverbank this is.
Field notes
Every animal is placed on six personality traits derived from how the species lives. Your answers are placed on the same six, and the closest animal wins. How the scoring works
- Sociability
- 7
- Boldness
- 10
- Energy
- 2
- Curiosity
- 2
- Devotion
- 5
- Roaming
- 2
- The hippo's closest living relatives are the whales and dolphins.
- Hippos secrete a reddish fluid that works as a sunscreen and an antiseptic, which is why they appear to sweat blood.
- A hippo's yawn is a threat display showing tusks that can reach half a meter, and it has nothing to do with being tired.
Hippopotamuses in literature
- The Hippopotamus — The Bad Child's Book of Beasts, Hilaire Belloc (1896)
- The Hippopotamus, the Elephant's Child's aunt — Just So Stories (The Elephant's Child), Rudyard Kipling (1902)
- Behemoth — Book of Job (the Bible), anonymous (600 BCE)
Characters from public-domain works. Company, not a verdict.
Closest personalities
The animals whose profiles sit nearest to the Hippopotamus's. If you got Hippopotamus, one of these was probably your runner-up.
Other mammals
WolfRed FoxBrown BearPolar BearLionTigerLeopardCheetahElephantGiraffeGorillaOrangutanSlothKoalaKangarooPlatypusOtterBeaverBadgerRaccoonHedgehogBatCamelDolphinSperm Whale
Among the 60
Friedrich Specht (1839–1909), Brehm's Life of Animals, Alfred Brehm (1895). Public domain, viacommons.wikimedia.org.All credits
